September 17, 2363

Amazingly enough, dinner went well with Mama. She loved the portrait. I hadn't realized she'd taken to Zia as well as she'd taken to Travis, but she actually treats Zia like more of a daughter than she does me. She did have quips to direct at Kaith about his lack of being involved with anyone, but Travis did jump to his defense.

I was surprised when she actually addressed me reasonably and held a bit of a conversation with me. Probably the first real conversation of any sort she's held with me since Kaith joined the defense force. I suspect she still holds me responsible for that, but seems to have come to terms with the fact he's happy because of it.

Travis had been perplexed as to why we were making a fuss over her birthday this year, where we hadn't last year. His human manners kept him from asking her age during the dinner, and he was surprised when I told him she had turned 50 this year. He insisted that she didn't look anywhere near that old. Humans always have such a hard time judging the age of anyone with Klingon DNA.

I still remember when Travis found out how old I was. Blue and I laughed at him while for the next week he insisted he was robbing the cradle. Then he proceeded to wax poetical about my having a fetish for older men, since Blue's older than he is. Oh, then it got really entertaining when he remembered my having been involved with Toby when he'd originally met me. He didn't know how much older Toby was, but he was pretty sure that he was older than Blue. That's actually what got him over the fixation on the cradle robbing, he eventually asked me what happened to Toby. When I explained that he'd run off on me, tears and growls blended together in this statement, he murmured an apology and held me in his arms. The subject hasn't come back up with him since then.

Speaking of Toby, I'm not sure what's going to happen with him when he returns. Travis makes me happy, and I don't foresee anything changing that, but Toby did mean a lot to me before he ran off. That said, the jerk did up and disappear on me without so much as an invitation to join him, a forwarding address, or even an guess as to when he'd come back. Also, given that while Toby had made it clear he was perfectly fine with sharing me, Travis is very much a monogamous kind of a guy, and would make me choose. I really suppose it's not much of a choice; Travis is here for me, I love him, and Toby ran off on me before I could decide if I loved him or not.

I just wish it felt a little more cut and dried.