January 16, 2361

Jarzen took me to the holosuite last night. As I said in my last entry he wouldn't tell me what program he was going to run. It turned out he'd found one of a nice earth beach with a beautiful view of Luna before she became populated.

As we usually did, we sat and talked between the occasional kiss until he suggested we take a swim. I didn't have a swim suit with me and I told him. He shrugged it off and pointed out it was just the two of us. I was hesitant since we'd never seen more of each other than what could be seen with clothes on. I looked him in the eye as I thought about it.

I leaned in and kissed him as I asked him to go first. He grinned and suggested instead we strip at the same time and maybe even undress each other? He punctuated this thought by dragging his finger up my back along the zipper of my dress. After a moment's thought, I kissed him again as I started to unbutton his shirt.

I felt him undo the zipper and a chill ran through me from head to toe as he softly slid his fingers up my back along my spine. He unwrapped his arms from around me as I finished unbuttoning his shirt and allowed me to slide it off him. Making sure to make as much skin contact as possible as he did so, he moved his hands up my body to the straps of my dress. He slid the straps off my shoulders and let the top of the dress fall down around my waist as I pulled my arms out of the straps. I felt myself blush as I sat there exposed from the waist up and he took in the view.

He leaned in for a soft kiss pulling me close to him and pressing my body to his. The feel of his warm flesh pressed to mine sent my head spinning. Without thinking about it, I leaned back into the sand pulling him down on top of me. We broke our kiss and regarded each other with silent eye to eye contact. Without saying a thing, it was almost as if we'd agreed we were ready to share ourselves with each other. I closed my eyes as he sat back up and started to slide his hands all over my body.

He started by tracing the path my spots followed down my body over my breasts. I unintentionally murmured and squirmed as his fingers brushed across my nipples. He paused and moved back to touch them again, provoking the same reaction. His fingers hovered about, taunting, teasing, and sending one electric shock after another surging through my body.

As his fingers were exploring my breasts, his lips found my neck again and started to kiss. Instead of staying on my neck as he usually did, he started to kiss further down. Slowly he made his way towards my breasts with his lips, and his hands continued down my body towards the dress doubled over at my waist.

I lifted my hips up against his, allowing him to slide my dress all the way off. Then I caught him by surprise and ended up pinning him on his back. He stared at me wide eyed as I removed his pants then caught him in a deep kiss.

I was excited and felt like I needed him badly. While kissing, I managed to draw blood, but I don't think he noticed, or at least if he did, he didn't seem to mind like he had before. The taste of his blood intoxicated me and impassioned me more, causing me to clutch his body tighter to mine.

At that point, my mind started to blur. I remember clutching him tightly, probably even digging my nails in his back. I can almost still hear him breathing into my ear, telling me how beautiful I look, how great it felt to be in me. I could hear myself telling him he felt fantastic, how much I loved him.

Throughout all of this, I could feel this energy building up inside me, filling me through and through, until it peaked causing all my muscles to tighten. The energy washed through me for what seemed like forever until it surged out, causing me to collapse back into the sand with Jarzen on top of me.

I looked up at him with a smile and he smiled back down at me. He moved so he was laying next to me, and held me close. I must have fallen asleep there in his arms because next I knew he was gently shaking me awake saying class starts in two hours.

He walked me back to my room, where I quickly got ready and waited for him to return as he promised. When he did, we walked to class together.

I think the whole class had an idea something had happened, because when we arrived the room fell silent and everyone looked at me. I blushed and ducked into the back, Jarzen either oblivious to the looks or ignoring them. Even the instructor looked at me and I felt like crawling into a hole. Jarzen held my hand under the table, and it almost comforted me.

The looks felt nearly like the ones I used to get back on Qo'noS. The difference was, they weren't for how I looked, they were for what I'd done. It was even more confusing that the looks only focused on me, not Jarzen. I suppose if I hadn't gotten used to fitting in and being accepted, it wouldn't have bothered me so much. It's not like I was young enough to be oblivious to it anymore.

After class Jarzen offered to try to talk his parents into letting him off tonight, even though he was supposed to work, saying how I looked like I could use some company. I told him I appreciated it, but I'd be fine. After I finish writing here, I'm going to call Mara and talk to her. I hope she's home.