2361

January 3, 2361

Jarzen and I have been going out for nearly five months now. Time seems to fly by, between all the time I spend with him, and now that we're actually flying most of the class time. Jarzen's parents have cut back his duties at the restaurant, since class hours have been expanded in order to get more flight time in without giving up too many classroom hours.

Every minute he hasn't had to work, and we don't need to sleep, we've been together. When he's had to work, I've made friends with a few of my other classmates. Rich is human, and a year older than I am. He's taught the rest of our group to play pool by sharing the cost to rent out a holosuite for a couple hours. Ling, also human, is one of the other two female class members. She's usually pretty quiet but she's also smart and can usually win a majority of the games of pool we play, she claims it's because she's so good with geometry. Twin Vulcans, T'Plan and Surack finish off the group and includes the third female in the class, T'Plan.

I took Jarzen with me one night and found out he couldn't play pool. After, it took me a week to nurse him through the deflated ego, so now I only go and play pool with everyone else when Jarzen's working.

He's working tonight and no one was up for a game of pool, so that leaves me some free time to catch up on my journal and my sleep. So here we go, I'm caught up on one, so time for bed.

January 15, 2361

Mama called me this morning as I was getting ready for class. Luckily I had gotten dressed already, Jarzen had left another hickey on my neck last night, and I didn't want to find out what Mama had to say about it.

She told me that she, Kaith and Kang were coming for a visit for a week. They should be getting here in a couple days. That's a class day, but they should be getting here during lunch, so I should be able to go greet them. I've mentioned Jarzen to Mama a couple times, so I'm sure she'll want to meet him.

Jarzen and I are going to the holosuites again, but he won't tell me what program he's going to be running. I was finished getting ready early, so I decided to write in my journal. Here he is.

January 16, 2361

Jarzen took me to the holosuite last night. As I said in my last entry he wouldn't tell me what program he was going to run. It turned out he'd found one of a nice earth beach with a beautiful view of Luna before she became populated.

As we usually did, we sat and talked between the occasional kiss until he suggested we take a swim. I didn't have a swim suit with me and I told him. He shrugged it off and pointed out it was just the two of us. I was hesitant since we'd never seen more of each other than what could be seen with clothes on. I looked him in the eye as I thought about it.

I leaned in and kissed him as I asked him to go first. He grinned and suggested instead we strip at the same time and maybe even undress each other? He punctuated this thought by dragging his finger up my back along the zipper of my dress. After a moment's thought, I kissed him again as I started to unbutton his shirt.

I felt him undo the zipper and a chill ran through me from head to toe as he softly slid his fingers up my back along my spine. He unwrapped his arms from around me as I finished unbuttoning his shirt and allowed me to slide it off him. Making sure to make as much skin contact as possible as he did so, he moved his hands up my body to the straps of my dress. He slid the straps off my shoulders and let the top of the dress fall down around my waist as I pulled my arms out of the straps. I felt myself blush as I sat there exposed from the waist up and he took in the view.

He leaned in for a soft kiss pulling me close to him and pressing my body to his. The feel of his warm flesh pressed to mine sent my head spinning. Without thinking about it, I leaned back into the sand pulling him down on top of me. We broke our kiss and regarded each other with silent eye to eye contact. Without saying a thing, it was almost as if we'd agreed we were ready to share ourselves with each other. I closed my eyes as he sat back up and started to slide his hands all over my body.

He started by tracing the path my spots followed down my body over my breasts. I unintentionally murmured and squirmed as his fingers brushed across my nipples. He paused and moved back to touch them again, provoking the same reaction. His fingers hovered about, taunting, teasing, and sending one electric shock after another surging through my body.

As his fingers were exploring my breasts, his lips found my neck again and started to kiss. Instead of staying on my neck as he usually did, he started to kiss further down. Slowly he made his way towards my breasts with his lips, and his hands continued down my body towards the dress doubled over at my waist.

I lifted my hips up against his, allowing him to slide my dress all the way off. Then I caught him by surprise and ended up pinning him on his back. He stared at me wide eyed as I removed his pants then caught him in a deep kiss.

I was excited and felt like I needed him badly. While kissing, I managed to draw blood, but I don't think he noticed, or at least if he did, he didn't seem to mind like he had before. The taste of his blood intoxicated me and impassioned me more, causing me to clutch his body tighter to mine.

At that point, my mind started to blur. I remember clutching him tightly, probably even digging my nails in his back. I can almost still hear him breathing into my ear, telling me how beautiful I look, how great it felt to be in me. I could hear myself telling him he felt fantastic, how much I loved him.

Throughout all of this, I could feel this energy building up inside me, filling me through and through, until it peaked causing all my muscles to tighten. The energy washed through me for what seemed like forever until it surged out, causing me to collapse back into the sand with Jarzen on top of me.

I looked up at him with a smile and he smiled back down at me. He moved so he was laying next to me, and held me close. I must have fallen asleep there in his arms because next I knew he was gently shaking me awake saying class starts in two hours.

He walked me back to my room, where I quickly got ready and waited for him to return as he promised. When he did, we walked to class together.

I think the whole class had an idea something had happened, because when we arrived the room fell silent and everyone looked at me. I blushed and ducked into the back, Jarzen either oblivious to the looks or ignoring them. Even the instructor looked at me and I felt like crawling into a hole. Jarzen held my hand under the table, and it almost comforted me.

The looks felt nearly like the ones I used to get back on Qo'noS. The difference was, they weren't for how I looked, they were for what I'd done. It was even more confusing that the looks only focused on me, not Jarzen. I suppose if I hadn't gotten used to fitting in and being accepted, it wouldn't have bothered me so much. It's not like I was young enough to be oblivious to it anymore.

After class Jarzen offered to try to talk his parents into letting him off tonight, even though he was supposed to work, saying how I looked like I could use some company. I told him I appreciated it, but I'd be fine. After I finish writing here, I'm going to call Mara and talk to her. I hope she's home.

January 18, 2361

Jarzen ended up having his flight time right before lunch today, so he ended up missing out on meeting Mama, Kaith and Kang today, since he had to work tonight.

Mama's sleeping in my bed and my brothers are camped out on the floor while I'm on the couch. This is going to be a long week, I just hope sleeping on the couch won't handicap me in class.

I'm hoping they won't get bored while I'm in class. They seem to have done fine when I left them alone for the afternoon. Mama did look at me a little weird, but she said nothing and I know better than to ask her about stuff she doesn't want to talk to me about, which means anything she doesn't bring up herself.

I'm going to get some sleep before I'll end up a zombie in class tomorrow.

January 20, 2361

Yesterday Mama met Jarzen. When she first saw him she silently evaluated him before she even acknowledged him. Kaith was friendly with him off the bat, but Kang shared some of Mama's reserve.

Jarzen wasn't his usual social self, he was more reserved and didn't speak much unless he was spoken to. I had never seen him like this before, but as I think about it now, he was dealing with the mother of the girl he'd taken the virginity from just the other night. My Mama can seem threatening, especially if she's being really quiet, and my brothers didn't help any, having shot up drastically since the last time I saw them.

I'm about six foot even, and I'd always been taller than them as we grew up, but now I was looking up at them. Since Jarzen was about my height, only a tiny bit taller, he was also looking up at my more Klingon than Trill looking brothers, brothers who are protective of their older sister.

That was lunch. I managed to lose Mama and my brothers that evening. Jarzen and I found a quiet corner and spent the evening talking. Jarzen admitted he wasn't sure how well he could handle my family. My mother was just too intense for him, and my brothers, well, they stood significantly taller than him and that didn't help matters at all. I assured him that they were just fine once you got to know them, and even I was initially intimidated by my brothers after seeing them for the first time since they shot up.

Jarzen's parents were gone this week and his sisters were running the restaurant tonight, so that left his family's living space empty. We retreated there for a little bit. As soon as the doors shut behind us, I caught him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. His left arm gripped around my waist like a vice, his right hand cupped my head just behind and below my ear.

He guided me backwards through the room and his right hand slid down my body. I had been wearing a knee length skirt with a slit up the left side, his hand found the slit and slid up under my skirt. At this point the back of my legs came in contact with the edge of a bed, which he later told me was his parents, so I leaned back onto it pulling him down on top of me. He slowly broke our kiss and sat up on top of me. I started to sit up too, but he put his hand upon my chest and stopped me asking me to lay back so he could try something. I nodded and did as I was told.

He slid my skirt up around my waist and leaned down. I felt his lips touch my inner thigh and I caught my breath. He kissed his way up between my legs. His hands gripped my hips and I felt what I assumed was the tip of his tongue cautiously probe between my legs. I let out a soft and deep moan and he took this as a go ahead to continue. His tongue darted forth more boldly this time, exploring every nook and cranny I had down there.

By the time he'd sat up and stopped he'd already gotten me to the point I'd been calling out loud enough his neighbors had to have heard. I let him sit and look down at me a moment then I sat up and tackled him so quickly that he hardly knew what hit him, even after I caught him in a kiss so long and deep it's a wonder we both remembered to breathe. While still caught in this state of lip lock I helped him out of his pants, pulling him into what we'd done the other night.

Afterwards we lay in each other's arms and I asked him how long he thinks our relationship will last. He shrugged his shoulders and kissed my forehead. I looked up at the chronometer on the wall. Realizing how late it was, I sat up quickly and explained that I had to go before I got in trouble with Mama when he tried to stop me. I gave him a kiss, straightened my clothes and left.

I got back to my room and found Mama sitting up waiting for me. I didn't see Kaith or Kang, so I assumed Mama had let them explore on their own. As I walked in the door, she looked me over, then frowned. She said “You'd better be careful, and I hope he doesn't hurt you.” and walked into the bedroom.

My brothers came back a little while later and were all too happy to tell me about their evening. They'd run into some of my classmates and gotten the gossip circulated about Jarzen and I. Kang told me he had to keep Kaith from starting a fight, since the rumors spoke so poorly of me, even though they spoke highly of Jarzen for his conquest.

They promised not to say anything to Mama about it, but I told them I think she already knows, but I do appreciate it.

They've gone to sleep now, so I really should wrap up my journal entry and get to sleep myself.

January 26, 2361

Mama, Kaith and Kang left for home yesterday. Jarzen has avoided them, so I'll see more of him again now that they're gone. Since he avoided seeing them he had to avoid seeing me outside of class. I have a feeling that this will be a problem later on, but for now I won't say anything, maybe he could learn to be able to handle them better later on.

He told me after class he needed to talk to me about something important. He had work last night and tonight, but tomorrow he's off. I'll talk to him then, maybe after he says what he needs to, I can ask him about his avoiding my family.

Until then, I need to catch up with my other friends I abandoned the last week. They should be down in the holosuites waiting for me to start out pool games.

January 27, 2361

“Your mother scares me,” he said. The first thing he told me after we'd sat down in a quiet corner of the bar. The conversation went down hill from there. He told me he wasn't sure he could ever get past that and he didn't think he could make things work between us if he's scared of her.

I didn't reply for a minute and he looked down at the table top, so I couldn't meet his eyes no matter how I tried. I reached for his hand, hoping that would make it all better, but he pulled it away and finally looked up.

When his eyes locked with mine finally, I felt a chill down my spine and knew everything he said, he meant. I could also see how it hurt him to have to say it. With a deep breath he stood. A meek and almost insincere apology came before a chase peck on the cheek before he walked away.

My eyes filled with tears and I soon dropped my head onto my arms to cry. I don't know how long I stayed like that, but one of the servers came and offered me a towel to dry my eyes, then hinted that unless I was going to buy something soon my table could be put to better use as the place was starting to get busy.

I nodded and walked away, not wanting to stick around the star fleets any longer than needed. I went back to my room and spent the evening doing nothing but laying around feeling sorry for myself. I eventually called Mara, who told me it's not my fault. She promised she'd be here the next weekend to help me move on. I felt a little better after that, so I came to write in my journal after Mara and I ended our conversation.

While I have gotten a better grip upon myself and I do realize that my life has not come to an end, I still feel like I'm missing a part of myself. I let Jarzen deep inside, in more ways than one, and now that he's pulled out, it feels like he stole a piece of me as he left. I wonder how long it'll take before I can move on. I'm sure it won't be easy seeing him in class, but I certainly won't let this make me give this up.

February 5, 2361

Mara showed up two days ago and after I got out of class, she made me pack some clothes and stuff, then took me away for the weekend. She brought me to an orion space station, and after we checked into the hotel we would be staying at she took me to a tattoo parlor.

She suggested we get matching tattoos as a bonding experience and I looked up at the wall full of designs before nodding my head. We scrolled through what must have been the whole selection of “stock” designs. We couldn't find anything we liked, so we started to play with the scratch pad they left out for customers. We eventually agreed on something simple. It's sort of like a sun design. Circular uncolored in the center except for a dot in the middle, the rays are sort of flame like, and there's a colored in circle in the very middle.

We took the design into the tattoo artist and after he cleaned up our rough sketch, we had him do it in black on the upper part of our right arms. After Mara paid for it, we wandered around looking for somewhere to eat.

I had worn a tank top, so I was showing off my new tattoo already. Mara was wearing a long sleeved cat suit, so no one could see hers. I kept getting calls from older men like “What's an angel like you doing with a tattoo?” and “Hey baby, nice tattoo, wanna fuck?” The first couple times I would look around for who said it, but Mara told me that looking only encourages them and I should just ignore it.

We finally sat down to eat in a little Ferengi run place, luckily their prices didn't gouge. We sat at the bar to eat, and while we did flirt a little with some of the men around us, none of them had been worth a second shot.

We looked around for a while and ignored many people commenting on my tattoo. We scoped out a couple of human males with tight asses, tan skin and blond hair. One had it somewhat short, but long enough it partially hide his grey eyes. The other had it shoulder length and pulled into a sloppy pony tail. We commented back and forth about their athletic builds in Klingon for a while as we followed them at a discrete distance.

When we'd decided to try to talk to them, they met up with a couple of human woman, one red headed, the other black haired, both with pale complexions. They weren't wearing star fleet uniforms, but they had the communicator pins on their clothing. We gave up on those two at that point.

We soon saw a Klingon and a red headed human, long hair queued, walking together and joking in a mix of Klingon and English. Mara and I exchanged looks with a smile and caught up with them. We came up on the side of the human and said hello in Klingon. They looked us over and returned the greeting with a smile. The human had only a hint of an accent.

With a grin the human spoke to his friend in English, offering to take me if he wanted Mara. Mara shook her head with a grin, grabbed his ass then walked past him to the Klingon with a comment in English about how she didn't believe he could handle her anyways and that he better not hurt me.

The Klingon chuckled as the human turned red, and admonished his friend while slipping an arm around my cousin's waist. I gave the human another look from head to toe, and met eyes with him as he finished doing the same to me. I smiled as I tried to decide if it was fear or excitement that played in his eyes.

Mara introduced us, and they introduced themselves. The Klingon was named Korth, the human Tobias. They admitted they were on the way to one of the better bars on the station, and asked if we wanted some bloodwine. I kept quiet, having not tried any before, but Mara was enthusiastic for it.

I was hesitant at first, not sure what I thought of it, but the more I drank the more I liked it. Everyone else finished their first round before I was halfway done with mine, so they ordered more for themselves. We spent a few hours in the bar talking. Korth and Toby (he asked me to call him that) work for a freighter company. Toby as navigator/emergency engineer, Korth as security. The company specializes in rare and expensive cargo. They were on a break between runs.

I mentioned I'd be interested in a job like that when I graduated from my flight school, and asked if their company would be hiring in a little over a year. Korth and Toby laughed and Mara and I exchanged a look across the table. Toby raised an eyebrow catching the look, and cleared his throat causing Korth to bite back his deep laugh. They grilled me to confirm I knew about the high fatality rate in companies like the one they worked for, and Toby expressed a desire for me to take any other safer job out there, listing off things that would in any other situation have been complements. He even actually had the gall to suggest I go join star fleet.

After firmly explaining why star fleet was evil and never getting my time, and emphasising that I was well aware of the risks involved and was still interested, Korth and Toby exchanged a conversation across the table as if Mara and I were not there, but eventually agreed that if I was any good, their boss would be rather dismayed to know they'd discouraged me and sent me to the competition. Toby handed over a data crystal with information he said would help me out.

It took a little time before the feathers ruffled from that conversation settled, but when it did, Korth and Mara were laughing and leaning together intimately and Toby and I were left to our own devices. He put a hand on my knee, and as I tried to make small talk, I started to suspect he'd had a little too much bloodwine. I'd heard humans couldn't hold their alcohol very well.

Soon Mara and Korth decided it was time to leave the bar. As we left, Mara fell back and got me alone. Korth had an arm around Toby's shoulder as they walked ahead of us and talked. Mara asked me if I was okay with where this was going, and once I had confirmed it was indeed sex, I said I was. She gave me a squeeze around the shoulder then moved ahead to slip between Korth and Toby. She punched Toby in the shoulder and he laughed before stepping back to join me.

I smiled shyly at him, and he grinned back at me reassuringly as Korth and Mara ducked into a room. He seemed to have sobered up a little, and led me to the next room down the hall. Settling on the couch under the window, he pulled me into his lap. All night he'd been on my left side so he hadn't seen my tattoo yet, but he noticed it when I sat down. He touched it gently and it stung a little still so I hissed softly. He asked me if it was new and I nodded.

He asked me if I was going for the tough girl look. I grinned and laughed as I told him that came with the forehead. He nodded smiling and wrapped his arms around my waist to pull me closer.

He explained to me his goal for the night was to see that we both had the best night we'd ever had, and he asked me to tell him what I was enjoying and what I wasn't as we went. I told him that I'd never talked during sex before, that my ex and I had just been quiet. He asked if we had talked afterwards, and I shook my head. He frowned and said he'd see if he could make up for Jarzen's short comings.

We started slow, just kissing at first, but we worked our way up. At first I was nervous whenever I'd say something, but as he would always change his approach based upon what I said, I started to get more comfortable with it. He also offered feedback and suggestions to me, and as I tried my best to follow, he made it clear that he was quite enjoying himself. When I bit at his lips, he encouraged me to try biting other areas, and even bit me back so I found out I enjoyed being bit as much as I enjoying biting.

Toby was probably four inches taller than me, not as tall as my brothers but certainly close. I found I liked this much better as my body fit against his more comfortably and I liked having someone bigger, and at least as strong as I was, holding me.

We slept wrapped together that night, and it seems Mara stayed with Korth the whole night also. In the morning, we all got breakfast together. I noticed that Korth and Mara both had bite marks on their face. I think Toby noticed too, but neither of us said anything about it.

Korth and Toby were due to leave soon after that, so Mara and I walked them to the port their ship was docked at. I can only assume that Mara and Korth exchanged contact information, but Toby gave me his and told me to give him a call whenever I wanted. Their pilot, a bajorian female, was waiting already. Toby and I parted with a short kiss. Mara and Korth took long enough that Toby felt the need to threaten to kidnap Mara and bring her along if they didn't wrap it up.

After they left, Mara and I window shopped a while, then treated ourselves to a massage. The rest of the weekend was pretty dull, but relaxing. Mara and I bought ourselves random indulgent things, and I was pretty much over Jarzen by the time Mara dropped me back off by the station tonight.

June 13, 2361

I graduated from the first year of courses, and now I've got a vacation to fill for ten weeks before second year starts. It looks like I'll have most of the same classmates, but some didn't pass the exit exam. Jarzen was one of those who didn't pass, so I won't have to deal with him in class anymore.

Since he broke up with me, he'd go out of his way to make me miserable. I ignored it, because as long as he didn't throw a punch it was nothing compared to what I'd encountered in school back on Qo'noS. It'll be none the less easier to concentrate on class if he's not harassing me. With the way he was acting, one would think I'd done something to hurt him and that I'd been the one to break it off.

Mara and Korth seem to be serious, and it seems that whenever they have time off, Korth goes and finds Mara, and they're always exchanging subspace messages and such. The one time I asked Mara about it, she seemed to have gone glossy eyed, and I couldn't get much out of her.

Toby and I talk from time to time, I've been hitting Toby up for as much information about the shipping business as I can, specifically with the company he works for. I've also talked to his boss and expressed interest in getting hired. They had me run through their evaluations and have since then been expressing interest in hiring me as soon as I graduate next year. I won't sign anything yet, in case something else comes up, but most likely I'll take their offer. Toby is still trying to convince me to “get a safer job”, but I've pretty much got my mind made up.

We decided to get together for a couple weeks before I go home to Qo'noS for the rest of my vacation. He wants to give me a birthday present, and I persuaded his company to let me come along on a run so I can see what I'm in for. He's nervous about this, but he knows he won't talk me out of it.

June 15, 2361

Toby got me a little two person space craft! He's going to help me with a custom paint job, when we get back from the run. We took her for a test spin and I fell in love! She handles like a dream and can push warp nine. I am so in love but have to decide what to name her. And I know Toby enjoyed the long thank you kiss and embrace I gave him.

We had a day to kill before the shipping run so we found a place with a bar, then spent most of the day there. The place, being run by humans, had a pool table. I wasn't sure if Toby could play, but I challenged him to a game. He not only agreed but offered to place a wager on it. He said if I win, he'd drop the subject of me finding a safer job, but if he won, I would have to agree to go find that safer job.

When I didn't respond to him right away, he looked at me with a frown. He teased me by accusing me of being afraid of ending up stuck as a flight instructor, then took my chin in my hand. He explained that if I wasn't willing to make a wager about something like this, then I shouldn't be willing to put my life on the line for such a job. I narrowed my eyes and accepted his wager.

He smiled as he racked up the balls. I let him break and sat on a stool across the table from where he leaned to take his shot. I didn't usually wear a short skirt when I was playing pool, and I considered clothing to be mostly a courtesy for other people and never bothered to wear anything under mine, so I didn't think about how I was sitting. After his shot, he came up behind me and placed his hands on my hips. He leaned forward and nuzzled at my neck as he warned me that if I kept the teasing up he'd have to take me here and now.

It took me a moment to realize what exactly he was referring to, then I smiled widely. I shot over my shoulder a comment about how he'd have to finish the game if he wanted to save my life and send me to a safer job, then reached between us to give the growing bulge in his pants a quick squeeze before I went to take my shot. He muttered softly under his breath and couldn't focus for the rest of the game.

When I finally won, I challenged him to another game, but he said he wouldn't be able to handle it. He slid his arms around my waist from behind and leaned around to whisper in my ear how crazy I'd been driving him, and exactly what he wanted to do with me. He followed this confession with his lips on my neck, his teeth grazing my skin.

I slipped out of his arms, took him by the hand, and led him out of the bar. He followed me almost like a lost puppy until we made it to the room we'd rented for the night.

He didn't even wait for the doors to shut behind us before he roughly pulled me into a kiss. Even though it'd been four months since the first and last time we'd been together, we fell into each other like we'd known each other forever. Instead of guidance, this time we exchanged praise. He bit my shoulder, I drug my nails up his back, he pinned me to the bed and I growled up at him to quit teasing. We carried on like this almost all night, we probably only got a couple hours sleep.

In the morning, I woke up first and considered why he was so determined to talk me out of my dream job as I stayed tucked up against his warm hard body. I just couldn't figure out why someone who had known me for such a short time would be that concerned about me risking my life.

When he woke up, and I was still at a loss for a reason, I asked him. He kissed my forehead before he replied. He told me he cared about me, and didn't want anything to happen to me, but he had every intention of honoring our bet from last night and would no longer bring up the subject. I pointed out how little he knew me, so he responded by pointing out the passionate sex we had the night before, and how that doesn't seem much different than caring about someone.

I stopped asking about it and we lay in bed a while longer before he pointed out the shower and bed facilities on the ship certainly are far from the best, and that we should enjoy the benefits of our fine room as much as possible before we were due to leave.

He gently pulled me into a kiss and pinned me to the bed. My Klingon half started to take control and I moved to reverse our positions. Toby pulled back and asked if we could try something soft and sweet this time. I nodded and willed myself to calm down as he leaned in to softly kiss me again.

This time was quite different than the other times, everything lasted longer and wasn't laced with the pain my Klingon half craved. I still enjoyed it, but not as much as I did the other way. Toby seemed to enjoy it more this way though. I have to remember that non-Klingons aren't usually as fond of the pain laced pleasure.

Toby stayed in bed while I went and took my shower, and while I got dressed, he took his. As I was putting my d'k tahg into its sheath, which I had tucked into the top of my right thigh high boot, Toby came up behind me and caught me by surprise. I drew my d'k tahg as I spun and had it pressed to his throat before either of us knew what was happening. As soon as our eyes locked I pulled the d'k tahg away, slipping it into its sheath without taking my eyes from his.

I apologized and sheepishly asked if he was okay. He nodded and my eyes darted down to his throat. A tiny drop of blood sat about where the blade had been for but a moment. I grabbed my regenerator from my bag where I kept it out of force of habit, even if I hadn't had use for it much in the last year. I told him to hold still as I took his chin in hand and tilted his head up. The regenerator made short work of the tiny cut, and I tossed it onto the bed as I hugged him tight and leaned my head on his shoulder.

He let me babble a moment about how sorry I was, how he'd caught me by surprise and how it was a self defense habit. He held me gently and rubbed my back as he assured me that it was fine, and all I'd really done was assure him I was able to take care of myself, thus making it easier for him to not worry about me taking the job that was all but reserved for me.

I pulled back, making eye contact as I expressed my surprise they were really that interested in me. My eyes were wide in question, and he nodded to indicate they were, and chuckled with a wide grin.

He pointed out that they wouldn't let just anyone on one of their ships while on a run, and told me they knew I was hesitating, so they were hoping this would seal the deal before they had to get into a bidding war over me. I pulled him into a tight hug and when I let go he took me by the shoulders with a serious look on his face. He made me promise that I wouldn't sign on with them until I graduated and had seen what other offers were out there for me.

We gathered our stuff and headed down to the ship after that. I was surprised when instead of Korth, there was some human hanging around. I asked Toby where Korth was, and he told me that he thinks he's off somewhere with Mara.

I was told the new kid was a floater, filling in on crews when needed and would end up on a full time crew eventually. He also mentioned that they probably wouldn't waste my time making me work as a floater, about the time I'd be graduating would be about the time they're putting together a fresh crew, I might even end up on the same crew as this kid. He suggested I try to make friends.

Friends certainly wasn't going to happen, the guy pretty much took one look at me and blew me off with little more than a grunt to acknowledge my presence. As he turned to walk away my eyes narrowed in anger but I couldn't help noticing how cute his ass was. This only served to anger me more since he'd just insulted me and here I was noting how cute he was. Toby noticed the steam coming from my ear, and the death look following the asshole onto the ship, so he asked me what happened. When I told him, he wanted to go kick his ass for me. As amusing as that would have been I stopped him.

Laina, the bajorian, and pretty boy took first watch in the cockpit as we headed out to pick up the cargo. Toby gave me the ten cent tour, then crawled into one of the tiny bunks to get a cat nap. I decided to write in my journal, but I probably should get a cat nap too before we're called up to the cockpit for our watch.

June 19, 2361

We've been so busy that I've hardly had time to sleep, and Toby and I usually eat when we're in the cockpit. Between all the pirates and the federation checkpoints, there's never been a minute to waste when awake. The bunks they have for us are so tiny I hardly fit in one, I don't know how Toby does, so it goes without saying one couldn't fit two people in there.

The showers are smaller than the beds, and use real water. I'd never taken a shower with water, every house I've ever lived in had a sonic shower, as well as anywhere I'd stayed for any length of time.

I didn't understand how they could give us such pathetic living conditions on this ships. Toby explained that most people find that less important than the pay scale, benefits and death coverage. I haven't even discussed any of those things with the company, but I would be soon I'm sure. Toby told me if I asked for it, I could even get full medical coverage, which would include maternity leave, and could expand to include any spouse or offspring, but I'm not too worried about that yet.

As we were discussing this Orion pirates swarmed down on us. The two tiny ships targeted our shields first. Toby had been piloting up until that point, since officially I was only an observer, but the moment he saw the ships he told me to take over. So far all the pirate attacks had been when Laina and Travis (the pretty boy) had been on watch, or when Laina was in the cockpit for some reason, so she usually was at the helm.

I slipped over onto Toby's lap not waiting for him to move and I didn't think he expected me to do that. I didn't give him a chance to react or move as my hands flew to the helm control to try to make it harder for them to get a hit.

He told me he needed to get at the weapons console, and I nodded to acknowledge him as I flew between the two ships and stood during the moment they couldn't fire at us without likely hitting each other too. Toby slipped out from under me and hit the weapons quick enough that he even got a shot at one of the ships before they could fire back.

The fight lasted fifteen to twenty minutes past that. They managed to get a lucky shot and knock down our shields, but not before we knocked out the main power on one ship. The second ship managed to get a boarding party on before we knocked out their warp drive and left them behind.

Toby called down to tell Laina what happened, and he was informed that Travis headed down to the cargo bay to attempt to deal with the boarding party. Of course, pretty boy didn't know what he was doing and only took a small phaser with him. Toby couldn't leave me up here by myself as I only knew the helm controls, so he asked Laina to come up to the cockpit when she admitted the most she could do was defend herself. I offered to go down, but Toby firmly told me no.

After a tense exchange where he made it clear he wasn't just looking out for me by saying no, Laina came up to the cockpit and Toby went down to the cargo bay. The next thing Laina and I heard, the boarding party had Toby and Travis was planning to just go in randomly shooting hoping it would make it better. When I offered my help, neither Laina or Travis said anything against it.

Travis was waiting for me outside the cargo hold. He tried to convince me that I should leave this to the professional, him. I drew my d'k tahg, grabbed him by his collar and slammed him against the wall. I had to stand on tip toe to look him level in the eye, but I managed to do this in a dignified and calm manner as I explained to him exactly how stupid he was, and pointed out that his ineptitude was clear just from the way he was holding the phaser.

I let go of him, still steaming, and put away my d'k tahg as he quickly fumbled with the phaser to turn on the safety. He tried to cover the embarrassment by getting huffy. I told him to stop acting so male and tell me what his genius “professional” plan entailed. He mutters before admitting he was just planning to go in guns blazing.

I took a deep breath before I told him to go ahead as planned, but make a point not to hit anything, as he was simply going to be the distraction. I was going to slip around under the cover of his fire and get Toby out. He muttered something, but agreed to my plan.

He palmed the door controls as he spun in and started shooting up all the ceiling and airspace. I slid in as the doors were closing and hugged the wall as I made it to the back of the cargo hold. Toby was leaning against a crate holding his arm. I could see a little blood dripping from his lip. It looked like the Orion guarding him was about to hit him again.

I charged, and brought him down before his hand could touch Toby again. Travis was doing his job and the other two Orions didn't notice as I took down Toby's guard.

I asked Toby if he was okay and looked at his lip. He hissed back asking why I didn't stay in the cockpit like he told me to. I challenged if he really wanted to trust Travis to get him out of here on his own and grabbed him by the wrist to guide him towards the door again. He shot a quick look at the chaos in the middle of the hold, Travis currently dancing like a moron dodging fire from the Orions as he continued to fire at random. Toby stayed silent as we made our way back to the door into the cargo hold.

Once we were outside, Travis darted out behind us and locked the doors. A quick exchange was had as I demanded what we were going to do now, and Travis suggested we transport them out of the hold. I chose not to ask why no one mentioned the transporters to me earlier.

The Orions were transported out of the cargo hold and into an empty extra room on the ship, where they sat until we came across a star fleet ship which was happy to take them off our hands.

June 21, 2361

The rest of the run went off without anymore problems. We went back to the station we'd left from and Toby and I flew my craft to a private ship yard, whose owner he was friends with. We were able to land my craft inside a hanger bay so we could paint her. I decided she'd be a light blue with dark blue racing stripes down the top. We called her the Cerulean Comet.

There was an asteroid field nearby, and once we'd finished with her paint job we spent most of the day out flying. Occasionally we'd run into someone, usually just after they'd paid Toby's friend to add onto or amp up the abilities of the craft. Mostly they were spoiled rotten little rich kids, about my age, who thought they could fly because mommy and daddy had bought them a cute little ship and paid their way through the standard flight training. Toby and I cleaned each and every one of them out of their ego, and a good chunk of money too.

Between cleaning out egotistical rich kids, Toby told me about one of the tricks Laina has shown him. It was reducing the inertial dampeners to ninety-five percent. It had never helped him, but he also admitted that his piloting skills were limited to his knowledge of the trajectories and his ability to read ship sensors. He suggested I try it out since I have a more intuitive and natural approach to my flying. I tweaked the controls and reduced the inertial dampeners.

After spending a few hours flying like that, I found that I liked it. I set the inertial dampeners' default to ninety-five percent and gave thought to playing with the settings more later. By the end of the day, Toby was a little dizzy, but he said I flew better with the dampeners reduced.

We stayed there over night, enjoying the feel of a real bed, even though we didn't sleep half the time we spent there. The next morning we took our shower together, enjoying the fact that it was a sonic shower and that it'd get us completely clean. I did admit to him that it might be fun to play around in a water shower, to soap each other up, too bad the showers on the ships are so small. He chuckled at this idea, but didn't blow it off.

After we finished our shower, had gotten dressed, then gathered our things, we headed out for the rest of our time together. We had a couple days over a week left until I was due back at home on Qo'noS. We're planning on taking the long meandering route to get there.

June 29, 2361

We wandered from station to planet to colony, stopping in any bar we found. We played with the money we'd gotten from the rich kids, playing pool and a few other games that Toby introduced me to. He says that I'm really good at poker, if the bar had a poker table I usually won enough to pay our bar tab. He also taught me how to play dabo, but we were both bad at it and usually lost money there.

Toby loved watching me clean out people at pool. Especially the men, since he knew first hand how frustrating it is. Usually after a few games he'd lead me off somewhere private and we'd fuck each other's brains out, but one night one of the men I played decided I'd hustled him. In order to try to avoid any trouble, Toby told him to forget the bet and we turned to leave.

The man grabbed Toby by the arm and insisted that since we hustled him that we should pay him as if he had won. Toby narrowed his eyes, and I could feel his muscles going tense as he stood there silently. I stepped forward and the man looked at me in such a way that showed he thought this was an amusing thing for me to do. This pushed my temper over the edge, and before Toby could stop me, I had the guy slammed against the wall, holding him there by his collar.

I challenged him, called him a petaQ and waited for an explanation. Instead he addressed Toby and told him to get me to back off. I growled, let him off the wall a few inches, then slammed him back where he was, making it clear I was the one he needed to talk to. He still looked to Toby, but finally turned his attention to me.

He attempted to blame his underestimating me upon my gender and species. When told exactly where his stupid assumptions could be shoved, he proceeded to claim that I should conform to his stereotypes and proceeded to attempt to feel me up. As I yanked the hand away, I made a point to crush it to get my point across, then supported my point with a solid right cross which left him crumpled at my feet. Toby caught me by my elbow and gave me a gentle tug to get me to follow him.

We headed towards the door out, but were blocked by a couple of men, apparently friends of the asshole I'd just punched. Toby got between me and them just as I was pulling out my d'k tahg. He told me to put it away without even looking back at me.

I slid the knife back into its sheath as Toby took a step forward. He tried to move past the men blocking the door, and one of them said something I couldn't quite hear. Toby apparently heard and didn't like it, because he stopped and faced the man who said it. They stood looking at each other silently for a minute before he swung and broke the guy's nose.

The guy behind Toby grabbed him and the guy who got the free nose job gave Toby a black eye as a thank you. As this was happening, I drew my d'k tahg again and came up behind the guy who'd punched Toby. He was about to throw another punch when he stopped short as the bade came up against the skin of his neck.

Toby called for me to duck, and as I did so dropping to the floor, I heard a phaser go off. The guy I'd been been holding at knife point crumpled to the ground as I looked to see who'd fired the shot. It was the guy I'd punched a few moments before. He was just taking in what had happened and was about to re-aim when I hit the floor rolling and tripped him by throwing the full weight of my body against his shins.

I pinned the guy to the floor with my knee in his lower back and his arm twisted up behind him. Toby grabbed my upper arm and told me to leave him, we had to get out of there. We headed straight for my ship as fast as we could without attracting attention. We were out of there as soon as the docking control cleared us, and off at the highest warp the ship could handle.

We talked about what happened, and Toby expressed surprise when I told him that other than the fights at school on Qo'noS, that was my first. Then he commented that Klingon schoolyard fights seem to train someone for a bar fight better than any bar fight could. After I told him how weird that sounded, he explained that he was impressed with how I handled myself, and was pleasantly surprised he didn't have to give me more guidance.

We have a couple more days until we were due to arrive at Qo'noS, but we decided we should avoid the rest of the bars between here and there.

July 1, 2361

Mama and Toby seemed to get along great. Mama was impressed at his almost complete lack of an accent when he was chatting with the whole family, heck he seemed to be more fluent than me. Mara and Korth showed up for dinner. Aunt Ba'el made gagh, and we all found out that while he handles anything else the Klingon culture throws at him, Toby can't stomach gagh.

I almost felt sorry for him, since he was getting heckled for it, but he seemed to handle it well. Judging from the comments flying back and forth between Toby and Korth, I figured that Korth had introduced Toby to gagh before and had previously bugged him about his failure with it. I ended up eating his serving, and the family sat around the table talking after the dinner plates were cleared away.

About this time came the announcement that Korth and Mara were going to get married. There was a mixture of congratulations and question. I couldn't make heads or tails of any of it, but apparently Mara and Korth could as they seemed to be answering or thanking anyone who said anything. Toby was pretty silent next to me, so I leaned over and asked him if he knew about this.

He shook his head, so I asked him why he was so quiet. It was a minute before he said anything and at that point he asked if it was okay for the two of us to leave the table. After my uncle nodded okay then turned his attention back to Korth and Mara, Toby stood and took me by the hand to lead me outside.

When we got outside he let go of my hand and sat down on the ground in the middle of the clearing we kept for sparring. I knelt down behind him and placed my hands on his shoulders before I asked him again why he was so quiet. He told me that Korth wasn't going to be staying in the freight industry much longer since he was getting married, he wouldn't be surprised if he'd already turned in his resignation.

I asked him what made him so sure, and he explained that Korth had been hypothetically asking his advice the week before he left to spend time with Mara, but Toby hadn't realized that he'd been advising his friend to leave the job they'd both known together for a while now. After explaining this, he quickly added that he was happy for them, it was he just felt like he was losing his best friend.

I pointed out that he was sure to still see Korth, but Toby dismissed this and said it wouldn't be the same only seeing him from time to time instead of regularly like it'd been on the job.

He then stood up and walked off. I went to follow him but he told me he needed time to think by himself. I watched him walk away before I went back inside. The family had moved away from the table by now, so I joined them in the family room.

After the family had drifted off to do their own things, Toby returned. I asked him if he'd thought enough and what about. He told me he was going to quit the cargo thing himself, buy a ship and disappear for a while. I was silent, and before I could get words together to reply, he gave me a kiss I don't think I'll ever forget. After he looked into my eyes for a minute, he said, “Take care of yourself, babe, I don't doubt you'll go far.” Then he left.

September 22, 2361

My break went by pretty uneventfully. I spent a little time with Mara, but most of her time was spent with Korth and his family. I occupied a lot of my time flying my ship and showing my family what I'd learned the last year.

My brothers were jealous that I had a cool little toy to run around in, but they didn't pick on me too much about it because I was their only way out of the house without Mama unless it was to somewhere very local. They could completely kick my ass whenever I agreed to spar with them, but I picked up quite a few tricks by the time I had to go back to school.

They introduced me to a couple of their friends, apparently they'd found some full blooded Klingons not in our family that actually didn't consider us dishonorable petaQ because our parents aren't the same species. The older of them, two years our senior, seemed interested in me, but I could easily kick his ass and didn't find him in any way interesting.

Toby did exactly what he said he would and I only heard from him once more before he really disappeared. He sent me a short “I'll miss you, be careful where ever your life takes you. Maybe we'll see each other again sometime” message. I still miss him a lot, especially considering that he'd been, as Mara put it, only a rebound lay. Apparently he'd been a damn good one, considering half a year or so later I still wanted to go back for more.

I've been back in class for about a month. The smaller class size this year makes a difference, and it also makes it easier for them to work with us specifically on what we want and need.

One of the thing I'd been worried about was if Jarzen would keep on harassing me even though he didn't make it to the second year. I found out he'd enlisted in star fleet. I'll probably never hear from him again, which would be fine with me. I still get along fine with his family, and they actually offered me a part time job in their restaurant.

So two days a week I wait tables at their place, go to classes four nights a week (because they save days for the first year class) and my one free day a week is usually spent on homework or catching up on sleep. Mama's glad I got the job, because it makes it easier on her to have me help paying for this.

When I'm working, I've become popular with the clientèle. Apparently it's considered a novelty to have a Klingon, even just a half breed like myself, to wait tables. Most like that I'm fluent, and I'm starting to realize that most people in star fleet aren't bad, it's just the upper brass and the politics I have such a problem with. Hell, I'm even starting to know some of these people by name.

A lot of them don't usually come in uniform, despite that I thought they lived in the things. Once they picked up that I didn't seem to care much for star fleet, most of them started making a point to change before coming in. I've been asked on a couple dates even. One was a Klingon Human mix, but he couldn't speak a word of Klingon to save his life. The other was a bajorian with a working knowledge of swearing, but not much more.

I gave them each a chance on my days off, but neither kept my interest. I have started talking to those I found to be pilots. It's always interesting to talk to people with different flight backgrounds than myself, always increased the chance of learning something new.

However, I desperately need to get fucked again. It seems like forever since that last night I spent with Toby.

November 15, 2361

Within the last week, I've received so many job offers my head is spinning. Since Toby skipped the quadrant, I've started talking to my soon to be cousin in law to get the information I need to be able to negotiate a good contract when I'm ready to. Korth mentioned my lack of pressing need for income gives me an extra advantage when negotiating.

Korth actually left his job a couple months ago, so I haven't had inside information for a little while, but that hasn't slowed down their contact with me one bit. Apparently they really want me, but some of the other companies have picked up on this and there seems to be a major offer war going on, and all I have to do is sit back and watch. It is quite amusing, and certainly speaks well of what I'll probably end up with when I finally sign with someone.

My instructors have said something about possibly letting me graduate halfway through the year. I wouldn't fight it, but I wouldn't mind staying the rest of the year either.

Jarzen came home for the weekend last week, so his family gave me those days off. Apparently it didn't go over well when half the people he talked to while he was here asked where I was. I'm told he tried to demand I get fired, but got a lecture about how his feelings can't be used as a reason to fire me, especially since he's away with his star fleet stuff and I've also been good for business. That seemed to really irk him, but his sister told me he didn't say anything else about it until he left.

I feel kinda bad for putting his family in the position of having to defend their choice of hiring me, but it is their choice. They could easily fire me if they wanted to, so I shouldn't worry about it.

Anyhow, I've got to go, I agreed to a game of pool with some guys from a fighter squadron passing through. Maybe I'll get some useful tips from them about flying.

November 16, 2361

Only two of the three guys I thought were coming showed up. The one who didn't come was the loud annoying one, he'd mouthed off to the squad leader and got stuck doing something or other.

After mopping up the pool table with both of them, we moved onto other things. They actually showed me the fighters they fly. Not bad for fleet technology, but either they were due for an upgrade, or the newest and greatest wasn't top priority, the ships would have been cutting edge when I was ten.

When I told them this, they chuckled and asked me how long ago that was. When I answered, they went quiet. One muttered something about me seeming older, and the other commented that it was good their friend wasn't there.

I managed to drag an explanation out of them to find out their friend wanted to get fucked, but it didn't seem right for a sixteen year old to do that with a twenty-seven year old. I told them no matter the age difference, he wouldn't have stood a chance, he was too much of an ass. They chuckled at this and actually offered to try to get me out in one of their fighters. I declined because I wasn't interested but when they found out I had my own ship, they talked me into showing them.

That was mostly uneventful, since I didn't really want anyone but me to fly my ship. They weren't all that happy to stay in the passenger seat. Judging from the way they left, I probably won't hear from them again. Oh well, I would have fucked the quiet one if he'd asked.

I am going insane without anyone to fuck. I might have to look into some help. There is only so much a girl can do without help. Hell, I'm at the point I would almost ask Jarzen if he wants to be friends with benefits, I'm sure I could teach him a few things. However, he's probably too prideful to listen to anything I'd tell him. Oh well, I'll just have to find myself a fuck toy.